Why Does Dealing with Change Create Fear and Resistance?

As 2016 draws to a close and people’s thoughts turn to the New Year, many people look at what they’d like to change in their lives, then shrink from the very change they desire for fear of what may become of them if the status quo alters.

According to experts, change is not the problem; it is people’s resistance to change and embracing difference that is the stumbling block. Most people have a fear of change and resist it, instead of embracing the opportunities change presents and the teachings it offers. Change is seen as scary when people have no road map to embrace change, and by not understanding that change is here as a friend, it can keep people stuck in one very dismal space, feeling alone and overwhelmed by life

One of Australia’s leading experts on change, Penelope Aelfin, shares her take on why people have so much fear of change. “Often people going through a transition will go into the depths of despair. They feel alone, overwhelmed, hopeless and helpless – they don’t know what they don’t know, and are not sure how to move through this ‘stuckness’”.  An event such as a divorce, a death in the family, children leaving home can certainly bring up the fear of change, as such events mean the loss of how they see themselves and their identity is challenged.
 
“Some of these situations can result in what we call the “Dark Night of the Soul”.  Everybody goes through them at some time during their life, it can happen as early as our late 20’s, but more often it becomes more evident and pronounced in our late 40’s and 50’s. It presents a learning opportunity for the person to get to know themselves at a deeper level and is a tremendous gift,” explains Penelope Aelfin, Founder of Heal Your Separation, www.healyourseparation.com
 
Penelope also believes that some of people’s resistance to change dates back to when they were children and ‘fitting in’ and being loved was all important.  The fear that arises from not ‘fitting in’ or being loved, is the fear that holds people back from embracing change, which more importantly keeps them disconnected and ‘separated’ from their true self. www.healyourseparation.com

“None of us wants to be on outsider – it is lonely, isolating and frightening. The truth is that by putting on masks and pretending to be ‘the same’, we are not allowing and accepting that we are different and unique, and that being different IS VERY NORMAL AND NATURAL - none of us can be the same as each other, and indeed it is actually a gift that we aren’t,” she explains.

Accepting change is probably one of the most difficult things to come to terms with in life. Like in nature, change comes to us for a reason, for growth. It is that deeper part of a person telling them to go in a different direction, that it’s time to move towards something new and to grow. Humans want to control change so they can be in charge of their lives, stay in their comfort zone and know the outcome. This is not how life works! 

Some of Penelope’s wisdom echoes that of the great Marianne Williamson who said:

“The change we are looking for is always a change within ourselves. And the change will come.  I’ve noticed that as long as I’m willing to be different, something or someone arrives to show me how.”  So, what are some expert tips on how to accept change? According to Penelope Aelfin, it’s quite simple. People cannot change what they don’t love!

“What do I mean by that? If you are pushing something away and avoiding what is coming towards you that is new and different, you are putting up a resistance to change. You’re fighting what life is bringing towards you, and land up with conflict and more aggravation, more struggle and no flow in your life,” explains Penelope Aelfin, Founder of Heal Your Separation, www.healyourseparation.com
 
Penelope advises there is a far more graceful way of embracing change. Here are some of her effective strategies 

1. Accept change, it is not going away! Instead welcome change, it’s a gift…
2. Trust yourself and be guided by your inner GPS. When you listen to that quiet, inner voice, it won’t lead you astray, it’s your personal guide.
3. See change as giving you variety. Variety is essential for ensuring a rich and interesting life.
4. If you take one step at a time, doing life changes are not scary!
5. Accept you’re different from another, and use change as an instrument for your growth

Penelope spends her life being that ‘someone’ that Marianne Williamson describes who assists people to facilitate the change they are struggling with. “If we are ever going to transition to a more peaceful society that embraces a new way of being where kindness and compassion are part of our world, embracing change in the way we live with each other is a place to start. It starts with ourselves, and how we interact with our children and our relationships and in turn in our society and accepting diversity in our cultures,” says Penelope. www.healyourseparation.com
 

About Heal Your Separation
 
Heal Your Separation supports people to heal internal conflict with themselves on the journey towards health and wellbeing, and to reclaim themselves so they can operate from a more heart-centred, conscious space. Penelope says that self-love is an ‘inside job’. www.healyourseparation.com
 
Heal Your Separation supports people on their souls’ journey, by, helping them understand who they are at their core inner being, and how to operate from a more heart-centred consciousness space.
 
Founder Penelope Aelfin has had over 30 years’ experience in the human potential field and alternative health arena. She is an author, became a professional speaker, a certified Professional Specialised Kinesiologist, Master NLP Practitioner, and a Theta practitioner.   She has studied many other modalities covering health, nutrition, homeopath, iridology, brain function, neuroplasticity, and emotional behaviour. She now regularly helps people who are overwhelmed by life to end the disconnection and cultivate greater health and wellbeing in their life, with a sense of spiritual wellness within themselves.
 
Prior to this, she worked in the corporate world in fashion and cosmetics for 12 years, and also ran her own commercial interior design business for 15 years.

Contact Information

Penelope Aelfin

Founder

Heal Your Separation

(61) 0459 552 800

pjelfin@live.com.au