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I’m Rick James’ Lawyer, Bitch: T-Shirt Hell is in Hot Water, Again


LAS VEGAS -- Jan. 20, 2005 -- Las Vegas based internet company has been hit with yet another Cease and Desist Order. This time it comes from the Rick James Trust, which has taken offense to their, “I’m Rick James’ Ghost, Bitch” t-shirt. T-Shirt Hell has been in this position before, most recently with shirts concerning the Olsen Twins Mary-Kate and Ashley, as well as a shirt about buying Christopher Reeve’s wheelchair on Ebay.

“We’ve received cease and desist letters before,” said visionary genius and site creator Aaron Schwarz. “But never from someone who is deceased. That’s not just freaky, it’s super freaky!”

“I think this case is entirely without merit. The shirt isn’t even about Rick James. Everyone had forgotten Rick James until Dave Chapelle started doing an impression of him on the show. Our shirt is about that Rick James parody. It’s a parody of a parody: I mean how much further removed from the real Rick James could it possibly be? And if you really want to get technical about it, the shirt is really about Rick James ghost, not Rick James. These people can’t really believe they represent his ghost, do they?”

T-Shirt Hell’s Editor-In-Chief Keisha Hyomoto said, “I do not believe a ghost should be bound by documents that were signed by a living person, any more than these documents would be binding to a vampire, zombie, or werewolf. Well, actually werewolves aren’t dead, so they should be held accountable, I guess.”

Schwarz continued, “If we do end up going to court we plan to bring in Allison DuBois, the woman they base that TV show ’Medium’ on, to try and contact the ghost of Rick James, to see if he has a problem with the shirt. If we can’t get the real Allison Dubois we will settle for Patricia Arquette who plays her on the show: and if she’s unavailable I’m confident we can get David Arquette.”

“Rick James was no stranger to breaking the law. His involvement with drugs and a conviction for aggravated assault and false imprisonment in the 1990s is well documented. Not to mention he produced Eddie Murphy’s album, which believe me, was criminal.”

Hyomoto concluded by saying, “We mean no disrespect to the memory of Rick James. The man is a legend. He’s the Godfather of Soul. No wait, that’s James Brown. I always get them confused. What did Rick James do again?”


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