University promotes write-in slate of Jackson-Clinton
Birmingham, Ala. - Andrew Jackson University, the school that recently offered free courses in economics to members of Congress, is now suggesting that even a deceased president might be a better choice than either of the two candidates we now have. Of course their nominee is Old Hickory, Andrew Jackson, the seventh president, who they think should be re-elected as the nation’s forty-third chief executive.
“If we had a leader like Andrew Jackson in the White House the world would be a much better place,” said university president Don Kassner. “Let me remind you that Andrew Jackson ran an administration during which the total national debt was almost zero. He was also a true war hero, leading U.S. forces in the Battle of New Orleans, and then provided leadership by taking on the Central Bank of the United States rather than cave in to the bank’s myopic policies,” said Kassner. “I could continue listing Andrew Jackson’s other accomplishments as president and military leader, but I think his attributes are obvious, especially when compared with today’s candidates,” he concluded.
The ideal Jackson running mate, in the university administration’s biased opinion, is Clinton. Hillary, not Bill. No sense in having two former presidents on the same ticket, and Hillary appeals to those eighteen million voters she charmed during her campaign. Plus she’d be a good mouthpiece for Andrew.
Some will say that you can’t elect a dead man, but as Kassner so aptly points out, we elected the 110th Congress, many of which have repeatedly demonstrated that they are nearly brain-dead, especially when dealing with issues affecting the economy. Kassner reminds Congress that Andrew Jackson University has a standing offer to provide them with a free basic course in economics. Sadly, there have been no takers.
So on Election Day, be sure to vote for the candidate of your choice. But if you feel that the available choices are not to your liking, there’s always Jackson and Clinton.
Andrew Jackson University (www.aju.edu), despite its sporadic attempts at tongue-in-cheek humor, is very serious when it comes to education. Offering eleven degree programs, all online, AJU is accredited by the Accrediting Commission of the Distance Education and Training Council (www.detc.org). AJU’s revolutionary zero-tuition program is allowing more individuals to attain the degree of their choice, especially important in a changing economic environment.
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