How to Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty
ADELAIDE, Australia February 2015 – Struggling to say ‘no’ is a trap many women can relate to. The sense of overwhelm and stress that can follow by having an endless ‘to do’ list is often manifesting as illnesses in women, and leaving residual feelings of emptiness or resentment.
When refusing to do a favour for someone or accept an invitation to an event, women commonly feel self centred, awkward or ashamed. Learning how to say no without feeling guilty is one of the greatest gifts a busy woman can give herself. It establishes herself as a deserving priority in her mind, and creates the space to spend quality time with friends and family, and focus on the more important things in life.
Director of Today’s Woman Events, a company focused on supporting women to achieve success, Miriam Castilla began an engineering career, rapidly climbing the corporate ladder, spurred on by the applause of management, family and colleagues. She soon realised that even though her ego was fulfilled, her being was miserable and she was exhausted from dealing with stress at work. “My heart wasn’t in it. Engineering was neither my passion nor my purpose,” Miriam says. “Many years, several small businesses, two children and a divorce later, I started my finance business, and it ticked all of the boxes of things that I wanted in my life: flexibility, being my own boss and no limit to the amount of money I could earn.” www.todayswomanevents.com
In the first few years running her business, Miriam worked long hours driven by a fear of poverty. This fear made her push herself harder than she could manage, and she ended up feeling “completely out of whack”. “I was no fun to be around and didn’t have the energy to exercise or socialise. I just worked, day and night,” says Miriam. “I realised I’d been running on auto-pilot and was headed for a crash landing if I didn’t correct course fast. It was time for a new approach.” www.todayswomanevents.com
Today, Miriam attributes her success to effective time management and learning how to prioritise her values. The following are three techniques she recommends:
· Evaluate responsibilities and priorities before making any new commitments. “If it doesn’t align with what’s important – your values – decline. It’s that simple,” says Miriam.
· Learn how to say no without feeling guilty. “You shouldn’t agree to a request out of guilt or duty - it only results in additional stress and resentment.”
· Sleep on making a tough decision. A confused and guilty mind should take a day to think about the request and how it suits current commitments. If there’s not enough time to sleep on it, at least take a minute to consider the request before answering.
- Contact Information
- Miriam Castilla
- Founder & Director
- Today’s Woman Events
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